Today I feel close to God, yet when I got to mass and I had to think about my sins, I didn't see that I commited too many or any at all and I thought that I didn't know what to be sorry for, nevertheless, very deep inside of myself I was asking God to let me know them, because I knew I was full of sins and I knew I didn't know them. As I was close to God since the beggining he started to teach me.

The first reading spok exactly about wisdom, making a great difference between wordly wisdom and heavenly wisdom. My judgement regarding myself and my sins when the mass started was related to worldly wisdom, that was the reason why I felt that I did not have any sins. Nevertheless, deep inside of me, meaning, my soul, I knew that I had many and I didn't know them, because I was not judging myself with heavenly wisdom. If I would have, then I would find out that I had not been in peace and the day before I felt anxiety with desorder in me. When a person is not in peace, then it means that doesn't have heavenly wisdom, because it involves peace, gentleness, pureness. That, I didn't have with me one hundreed per cent, therefore, I had the most important sins of all which is to be so very far away from God, because God is peace, and harmony and love.

finally the third reading was about Jesus taking out a deamon from a kid. The apostles were not able to do it and he told them that they could not, because that could only be done through prayer.

Same thing with me. I know I have done a lot of effort to be in you my lord, the only thing you are asking me to do is to surreder completely to you, and I can not try to do it by myself, only you, my lord, only you can get my total surreder and in order to accomplish it the only thing I can do is to pray.

The realization of